The wife was texting me all day yesterday saying she was in casualty. I watched all 50 minutes of it last night and I didn't see her once. She's still not home yet & I'm getting hungry........
I accidently paid for my groceries with my library card. My macaroni cheese is due back next Tuesday.
I recently retired from my full time job as a gynaecologist. But I decided to do a few shifts a week. You know, Just to keep my hand in.
OMG I’m rich and didn’t even know it! Silver in the hair, Gold in the teeth, Crystals in the kidneys, And an inexhaustible supply of natural gas! Never thought I’d accumulate so much wealth in my old age!......
