A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. “First offender?” the judge asks. “No, first the Gibson then the Fender.” the woman says.
The defunct tolls at the Severn Bridges will be reinstated this weekend, just to annoy the army of travelling English fans heading for the game with Wales. There will also be a premium toll for anyone driving a chariot into Wales. Mike Chugger, spokesperson for the Ministry of Welsh Bridges told WalesOnCraic: “We always like to open our arms and offer a warm welcome to our English cousins from over the border, especially when it’s ahead of a good ol’ scrap in the Six Nations. However, we won’t be making it too comfortable for them so we’re going to reinstate the tolls. “When we took them down a few years ago, I got my wife to store them all in my shed for occasions just like this. So on Friday night, me and a few of the lads down at the Albert will be sticking them tolls right back where they were. We’ll make sure that we don’t put any staff on though, just to make things a little more difficult and if anyone’s driving a chariot, we’ll be charging them the new chariot rate, which is the same as a heavy goods vehicle.” Fans travelling to the game at the Principality Stadium will also face delays at the Brynglas Tunnels in Newport. “We thought we’d close the tunnels and make the Saes drive all the way around. Hopefully, by the time they do get to the game, we’ll have thrashed them anyway and they can just turn around and head back home across the bridge. Which reminds me, we could add tolls to get out of Wales as well.” Wales play England in the final weekend of Six Nations action this Saturday. Wales are red hot favourites to do ok but not quite win.
What do you call an Irish woman who performs a medical imaging technique used to visualise the inside of blood vessels and organs of the body, with particular interest in the arteries, veins, and the heart chambers? Angie O'Gram.
My wife said to me, "I know you've been cheating on me with that girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch." I said, "How can you say such a thing?"
My wife has had a bad week. 1st she was diagnosed with diabetes and now hay fever. I've tried my best to cheer her up with flowers and chocolate.
Ugly nurse: "that guy in bed 1 has Ludo tattooed on his dick" Pretty nurse: "no that's Llandudno dear".
