A good wife will always be by your side during bad times. Mostly to remind you that none of this would've happened if you had just listened to her
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Johnny, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?" "That it is," Johnny replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball." "You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat. "How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Johnny. "Well," mused Pat, "'tis life and there's a lesson in this somewhere." "That there is," replied Johnny. "'Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."
The police have just rang to inform me that they’ve recovered my stolen sofa. That was nice of them, it was starting to look a bit tatty
