I was at my mate Dave's wedding and got chatting to a woman. I said to her "And what do you do?" She said "I'm a head teacher." I replied "Could you teach my girlfriend - She's awful at it......"
Chief ,Sitting Bull, and his 5 squaws, and 7 braves go to a restaurant ,and go straight in . The girl on the desks shouts out "You can't go in there ,unless you have a reservation "
I said to my psychiatrist, “My wife thinks I’m crazy because I like sausages.” “I don’t think you’re crazy,” he replied, “I like sausages as well.” “Really?” I said, “You should come over to my house and see my collection.”
Went out to dinner last night. The waiter comes over to our table and says " For starters we have Badger Soup, followed by Badger Roast ,and finishing with Badger Mousse". I said "Is there anything else to eat apart from Badger?" The waiter said, "No, It's a sett menu..."
I went to buy a lottery ticket for myself, and one for my dog. The girl said "Your dog can't buy one" "Yes he can" I told her, "the advert says players must be 18,or Rover"
