I said to the waiter what's the special today He said Tongue. I said I don't fancy eating something out of an animals mouth He said What about a couple of Boiled eggs then......
We lost in the pub quiz. My fault. "In Greek mythology what being was half man and half beast." I said Buffalo Bill.
An Irish bloke goes to the doctor and says "Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya wood". So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. "Incredible," he says, "there is a £20 note lodged up here". Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, only to see another £10 note appear. "This is amazing" exclaims the Doctor "What do you want me to do?. "Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out man" shrieks the patient. The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and so on...Finally the last note comes out and no more appear. "Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter, how moch is dare den? The Doctor counts the pile of cash. "£1990 exactly." "Ah, dat'd be roit." says Paddy " I knew I wasn't feeling two grand."
