Cold Winter The Indians asked their Chief in Autumn if the Winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the Winter was going to be cold with lots of snow and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This Winter is going to be quite cold indeed." So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold Winter." So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure that the Winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood likecrazy!"
Fred and Mavis are enjoying a nice afternoon in the cinema. After 20 or so minutes Mavis leans over to her husband and whispers "Fred, the man next to me is having a w*nk" "Just ignore him" Fred replies, engrossed in the film. "I can"t" she replies, "he"s using my hand..."
My wife was telling her friend that obesity is in her genes. I was compelled to point out that wasn't true as she looks like a fat twat in a skirt as well.
Justice has been served There's been some thug called Carl going round breaking in to people's houses near me for months, but the police couldn't catch him. The weirdest thing about it all is he was breaking into people's houses just to ruin their washing machines by putting bricks in to them & turning them on!!!!! Really weird if you ask me... Anyway, just read that he was found dead in an alley coz ofa drug overdose.. It's never nice hearing of someones death, but on the bright side, washing machines live longer with Carl gone... Just heard on news there's a cure for dyslexia... I thought that's music to myarse!
The Manchester City coach was delayed on their way back from Wembley last week. They had to stop at IKEA to buy a cabinet.
It's that cold, I thought I'd check on my 80 year old next door neighbour Mike, to see if he needed anything from the shop. He said he did, so I gave him a list of things I needed as there's no point of us both going out in the snow and getting cold.
