Paddy was planning to get Married and asked his Doctor how he could tell if his Bride is a Virgin..??? The Doctor said, “Well, you need Three things from a Do-It-Yourself Shop. A Can of Red Paint, a Can of Blue Paint… and a Shovel. ”Paddy asked, “And what do I do with these, Doc”..??? The Doctor replied, “Before the Wedding Night, you Paint one of your Testicles Red and the other Testicle Blue. Then if she says, "That’s the strangest Pair of Balls I've ever seen", you hit her with the Shovel"..
A pirate goes to his doctor and says (do this with your best pirate voice) “Doctor, I’ve got these lumps on my arm”. The doctor spends a few minutes looking at them before saying “Don’t worry, they’re benign”. The pirate goes quiet for a few moments before saying “Benign you say? This morning there only be eight!”
