A blind man went to a restaurant. menu sir? asked the owner. I’m blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left.! Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, do me a favour and rub this fork over your private part which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, bloody hell! I never knew Brenda worked here............
I was feeling a bit poorly, so I went to the doctor. After examining me, he said I'm not sure what it is, it might be alcohol. I said, In that case I'll come back when you're sober!
Three virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period. Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions of marital sex. The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe". Puzzled at first, Mum went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Great from beginning to end". Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter. The second girl sent the card from the Maldives a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans". Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes to read from the pack: "Super strong King Size". She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter. The third girl departed for her honeymoon in New Zealand. Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. A month passed; still nothing. A card finally arrived from Auckland on which was written with shaky hand, "Air New Zealand ". Mum took out her latest travel magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for Air NZ 'Ten times a day, seven days a week, in all directions.'
