Young girl walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees the bloke with whom she had sex the previous evening, after they met in a pub. He is stacking washing powder boxes on shelves. You lying sod!" she yells. "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!" "No," he says, "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team."
I asked my voice activated mobile phone about tomorrow's weather..... I said surely it's not going to rain tomorrow? It replied.... it is going to rain tomorrow.......and don't call me Shirley. I looked at my phone in amazement and then realised I'd left it in Airplane mode......
A wonderful thing is the human body. It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 6.6 pounds. The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. Women blink twice as often as men. The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. Women will be finished reading this by now - men, on the other hand, are still busy measuring their thumbs.
