I needed to move the van this morning but when I turned the key I just couldn't get it started. I lifted the bonnet and there was a bat lying there on the engine. It turned and said to me "Hello there handsome my what a good looking bloke you are" I could see the problem immediately. Bat flattery....
I remember when I was at school, the teacher asked the class to describe any 'Collective Nouns'. Mary raised her hand and said... "A herd of cows". The teacher said... "Very good Mary". James then raised his hand... "A flock of sheep miss". The teacher said... "Very good James". Susan then said... "A gaggle of geese miss". The teacher said... "Brilliant Susan". The teacher said... "What about you David, can you think of a collective noun that's better than the others? I said..."Yes miss, a dose of crabs".
