Shamima Begum is said to have contemplated suicide after this week's court ruling. She said "I'd started making the Vest and everything!"
I decided to go to the local Mosque for the first time to see what it was all about. I sat down and the Imam came up to me, laid his hands on my hand and said "By the will of Allah the All Mighty, and the Prophet Muhammad you will walk today". I told him I was not paralyzed. He came back and laid his hands on me and repeated the same thing. Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me. After the prayers I stepped outside and lo and behold, my bloody car was gone.
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him,“What's wrong?” The boy says,“Me ma is dead”. “Oh bejaysus,"the man says. “Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?” The boy replies,“No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.”
Two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind. Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle." At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads." "Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the men. "And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too," adds the other!
