Paddy and Mick are at a job interview for a labourer by a builder, Paddy goes first and is asked, "If you lost an eye, what would you be?" He answers, "Half blind." Then he was asked, "What would you be if you lost both eyes?" He answers, "Blind."... Builder says, "Great, you got the job - send Mick in." Mick over heard the interview and thinks, "Great, I'll just give the same answers." The builder asks, "If you lost an ear, what would you be?" Mick says, "Half blind." Then was asked, "What about if you lost both ears?" Mick says, "Blind." The builder, a bit puzzled, asked, "How would that be?" Mick says, "My hat would slip down!!..
Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods to visit her granny when she hears a rustling noise in the bushes. " Who's there?" she says, and The Wolf scampers off. She walks on a short way and hears the rustling again. "Who's there? Is that you, Big Bad Wolf?" she asks, and The Wolf scampers off again. She walks further on and hears the rustling yet again. "Is that you Big Bad Wolf?" And the Big Bad Wolf says, "I wish you'd f*ck off, I'm trying to have a sh*t !".
I was diagnosed today by my doctor, who seems to be obsessed with Tina Turner . . . . she said “you’re simply depressed”
A teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right & wrong. "Let's take an example. If I were to get into a man's pocket & take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" A little boy raises his hand and with a confident smile, says, "You'd be his wife!"
I didn't think that my uncle liked me but apparently he has left me a large building in his will. Does anyone know where Sod Hall is ?
