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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11601
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 12, 2021
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11602
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 12, 2021
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  3. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    Screenshot_20211013-204951.png
     
    #11603
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2021
    swantastic, Oct 13, 2021
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Two guys were out walking their dogs on a hot day when they pass by a bar. The first guy says, “Let’s go in there for a pint.”
    The second guy says, “They won’t let us in with our dogs.”
    First guy: “Sure they will, just follow my lead.”
    He goes up to the pub, and sure enough, the bouncer says, “I can’t let you in here with that dog.”
    He replies, “Oh, I’m blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.”
    The bouncer says, “Ok then, come on in.”
    The second guy sees this and does the same thing. The bouncer says, “You can’t come in here with a dog.”
    He replies, “I’m blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.”
    The bouncer responds, “You have a Chihuahua for a seeing-eye dog?”
    The second guy exclaims, “They gave me a Chihuahua?”
     
    #11604
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
    Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
    “Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
    A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
    “Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
    “Oh, no,” exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
     
    #11605
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2021
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11606
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11607
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2021
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11608
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2021
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Paddy went to the train station and asked the ticket office for a one way ticket to jeopardy.

    The clerk said there's no such place.

    Paddy replied, look, it said on the news last night there's 3000 jobs in jeopardy and i want to get there NOW!!.
     
    #11609
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2021
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11610
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2021
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  11. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #11611
    swantastic, Oct 14, 2021
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  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #11612
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 14, 2021
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  13. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #11613
    swantastic, Oct 14, 2021
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  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #11614
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 14, 2021
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11615
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 14, 2021
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11616
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 14, 2021
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My husband gave me a handmade bra that he'd got from a craft fair, and told me it was made from sheepdog fur.
    "Aww, how sweet" I giggled. "Is that to keep my boobies nice and warm?"
    He said "no, but it'll round them up and point them in the right direction!!
     
    #11617
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 14, 2021
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  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #11618
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 15, 2021
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  19. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    #11619
    swantastic, Oct 15, 2021
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I just played Monopoly 'Southampton Edition.'

    The car had it's wheels missing......
     
    #11620
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 15, 2021
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