"A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 5000 yen and walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with another 5000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, "Fluctuations." The Japanese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He'll be so annoyed if it's not ready on time." When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food.. With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf. She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it. "Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day" Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her golf partners about it, and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed! Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the clubhouse, and one of them said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?" The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the window sill while he was licking his bum”
A young man was sitting in the window seat of a plane about to take of when a beautiful young woman asked if she could join him Of course he replied Thank you she said Let me introduce myself my name is Mary Johnson and I have a very interesting job, I work for a University studying sexual mythology, for example she said most people think African men have the largest penis's but in actual fact it is the North American native Indian who has this honour Another myth is that the best lovers are French or Italian men but the truth is the best lovers are Greek men But that is enough about me, may I ask you your name Tonto Popadopolos he replied with a smile