My cousin just called and asked if I would loan her £300.00 to help her pay her rent. Those who know me, know that I'm always willing to help out friends and family. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back. Before I called her back, my aunt called and told me that my cousin was lying and not to give her the money. She goes on to say that the real reason my cousin wanted the £300.00 was to get her boyfriend out of jail so she could be under the same roof as him for his birthday. I thought about it for a minute and decided to give her the £300.00 because we all need help at times. So, I called my cousin and told her to come and get the money. A couple of hours later, I get a call from the jail... It was my cousin crying, screaming and asking why I gave her counterfeit money. My response...so you and your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday!
A woman arrived at a party, but didn't see anyone she knew.As she looked around, she spotted an attractive man, who was standing alone.She approached him and introduced herself:"Hi, my name is Carmen."That's a beautiful name," he replied, "Is it a family name?""No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most, cars and men.""What's your name?"she asked."Bob Titsenbeer," he replied.
Me: "How much for anal?" Hooker: "Sixty quid." Me: "That's a bit expensive. I think I'll leave it." Hooker: "Tight arse!" Me: "Go on then, you've persuaded me!"