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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8881
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 20, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8882
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 20, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The government have advised against needless journeys.

    Brighton goalkeeper Mat Ryan has travelled 350 miles to Newcastle today for absolutely no reason
     
    #8883
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 20, 2020
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  4. TheRealBubbles

    TheRealBubbles Well-Known Member

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    3D538A4C-4DAC-48E4-81F2-AE4BC13B48F3.jpeg
     
    #8884
    TheRealBubbles, Sep 20, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8885
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 20, 2020
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Got home from work and the window cleaner was shouting and swearing.

    He must have lost his rag.....
     
    #8886
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 20, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8887
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 20, 2020
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  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-9-21_17-21-8.jpeg
     
    #8888
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 21, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8889
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  10. Wooperts_duck

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    #8890
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8891
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

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    #8892
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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    #8893
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
  14. Wooperts_duck

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    #8894
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8895
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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    #8896
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  17. Wooperts_duck

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    #8897
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 22, 2020
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    #8898
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 22, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #8899
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 22, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Anyone know a teacher?? Does he or she like a drink, or two??
    THIS is why!!
    The following questions were set in the 2015 GCSE examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year old's):
    NOT the same student, thank the Lord!!

    Q. Name the four seasons
    A. Salt,pepper, mustard and vinegar.
    Q. How is dew formed.
    A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
    A. Very important.Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
    Q. What are steroids
    A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs ..
    (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
    Q. What happens to your body as you age
    A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
    A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true)
    Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A. Premature death.
    Q. What is artificial insemination
    A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
    A. Keep it in the cow.(Simple, but brilliant)
    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
    A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
    The brainium contains the brain,the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
    (wtf!)
    Q. What is the fibula?
    A. A small lie.
    Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
    A. Nearby.
    Q. What is the most common form of birth control
    A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
    (That would work)
    Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
    A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
    Q. What is a seizure?
    A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
    Q. What is a terminal illness
    A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable)
    Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
    A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.(brilliant)
    Q. What is a turbine?
    A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
    Share
     
    #8900
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 22, 2020
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