I was invited to a dinner where they cook a whole male sheep I declined this as I feared for the ramifications......
Paddy's Wife cones home from her Doctor's Appointment and Paddy asks her how she got on... "Oh I done well" she said, "the Dr told me I had a lovely Vagina" Paddy was furious at this, and walked down to the Doctor's Surgery, in a pure rage he demands to see his Wife's GP... After about 10 mins the Dr comes out and says... "Whats the meaning of this outrage Paddy?" Paddy storms at the GP and says "Whats this I hear about you telling my Wife she has a lovely vagina??" The Doctor was shocked at this! and turned to Paddy and said... "I did not say that! I told your Wife she had Acute Angina!"
I was at a job interview yesterday when the manager handed me a laptop and said: “I want you to try to sell this to me.” So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home. Later he called me and said: “Bring my laptop back now.” I said: “£200 and it’s yours.”
Her dog came in heat and she was concerned about keeping it and the male separated. But she had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw. "Do you think that will work?" she asked. "Just worked for me." he replied.
A drunk staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the confession box and said nothing. The bewildered priest coughed to attract his attention, but still the drunk remained silent. The priest then knocked on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. "It's no use knocking, mate" said the drunk. There's no paper in this one either!".
