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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7821
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7822
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I want to be buried with all my records.

    It will be my vinyl resting place!
     
    #7823
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2020
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I’m gonna sell my white Transit van and buy a pink one.

    I want a camper van!
     
    #7824
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7825
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2020
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  6. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-5-31_10-57-36.jpeg
     
    #7826
    Taffvalerowdy, May 31, 2020
    Wooperts_duck and daimungeezer like this.
  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-5-31_17-32-33.jpeg
     
    #7827
    Taffvalerowdy, May 31, 2020
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  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    Apparently the gentleman who invented the anagram has died.

    May he "erect a penis".......
     
    #7828
    Taffvalerowdy, May 31, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7829
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2020
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7830
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2020
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  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-6-1_11-40-32.jpeg
     
    #7831
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 1, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A Golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to hospital.
    Just before he was put under, the Surgeon popped in to see him.
    "I have some good news and some bad news."
    The Surgeon tells him.
    "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"
    “Oh God no," the man cries.
    "My Golfing is over.
    Please Doc, what's the good news?"
    "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before go ahead with the transplant."
    "Go for it Doc, as long as I can play Golf again."
    The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the Golf Course when he bumped into the Surgeon.
    "Hi, how's the new arm?" The surgeon asks.
    "Just great," the Golfer replies.
    "I'm playing the best Golf of my life.
    My new arm has a much finer touch and my Putting has really improved."
    “That's great."
    "Not only that, My handwriting has improved, learned how to sew my own clothes and even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors."
    "That’s unbelievable, I'm glad to hear the transplant was such a great success.
    Are you having any side effects?"
    "Well, just two really," the Golfer told him.
    "I have trouble Parallel Parking and every time have an erection get a headache!"
     
    #7832
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2020
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  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-6-1_21-4-28.jpeg
     
    #7833
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 1, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    When I was in the pub last night I overheard a couple of dickheads saying that they wouldn't feel safe on a Aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman!

    What a pair of sexist prats. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing is it?
     
    #7834
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    On the chest of a barmaid from Sale
    We're tattooed the prices of ale
    And on her behind
    For the sake of the blind
    Exactly the same but in Braille
     
    #7835
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7836
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2020
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7837
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7838
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 1, 2020
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  19. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    Great pyramid of Geezer.
    Screenshot_20200602-103922.png
     
    #7839
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2020
    swantastic, Jun 2, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7840
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 2, 2020
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