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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    How long is this social distancing meant to be going on for?

    My kids keep trying to get back into the house.......
     
    #7241
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7242
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7243
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
    daimungeezer and neveroffsidereff like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Last week, a lorry carrying Vicks Vapor Rub collided with one carrying Olbas Oil on the M27 near Hedge End. Both vehicles shed their loads...

    ...Strangely, there was no congestion whatsoever.
     
    #7244
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7245
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  6. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

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    You sure, bloody accidents all the time on it now. Junctions 5-9 arghhh
     
    #7246
    neveroffsidereff, Mar 23, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7247
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  8. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    3E547776-EBE1-492B-94A0-383C0321722A.jpeg
     
    #7248
    swantastic, Mar 24, 2020
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  9. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    #7249
    Number 1 Jasper, Mar 24, 2020
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  10. daimungeezer

    daimungeezer Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I thought "I've seen this before"... then spotted "it" <yikes>
     
    #7250
    daimungeezer, Mar 24, 2020
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  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-3-24_11-55-46.jpeg
     
    #7251
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 24, 2020
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  12. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    79A66B6E-2BC0-440B-A956-93E564D8C38F.jpeg 74B793DE-268A-4DED-9908-3C5D79D8A708.jpeg 283D07BD-51C5-4BE1-A5BC-7A3962376744.jpeg
     
    #7252
    swantastic, Mar 24, 2020
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  13. daimungeezer

    daimungeezer Well-Known Member

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    That's the first accurate horoscope I've ever seen <laugh>
     
    #7253
    daimungeezer, Mar 24, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7254
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7255
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7256
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just popping to the shops to get a few bits!!!!!!!!
     
    #7257
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7258
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    If anybody wants a copy of Osteopath Weekly, I have back issues.........
     
    #7259
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A Catholic priest bumps into his friend the vicar, the vicar says
    "you know it's terrible someone stole my bike it's not where I normally leave it you think even thieves would leave a vicars bike alone" the priest says"
    you know what you should do, on Sunday give a sermon on the Ten Commandments but when you get to thou shalt not steal really got to town, hellfire and damnation that sort of thing, it may make whoever took your bike feel guilty and bring it back" the following week the priest meets the vicar riding his bike and says " I see you got your bike back did the sermon work? "In a way" says the vicar "I did what you said and did my sermon on the Ten Commandments but when I got to thou shalt not commit adultery I remembered where I left my bike!!!
     
    #7260
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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