George is 80 and lives in an old people's home. Every night his friend Mabel comes to his room and holds his cock in her hand while they watch telly. Then one Saturday Mabel goes out to her daughter's for the night. George was going to be alone then Nora, another inmate, says 'Hey George, as Mabel's not 'ere, can i come to watch telly in your room?' He says 'Ok then'. When she arrives and sits near him, he says would you mind holding my cock?' 'Course not'. So she sits there with his cock in her hand. At the end of the night she says 'I enjoyed it. Can i comeback tomorrow?' 'No, Mabel's back' 'What's Mabel got that I 'aven't?' He replies 'Parkinson's disease'
Doing my weekly shop in Asda today. I was horrified to find they had no toilet paper at all. Reluctantly I headed for the checkout and asked if they had any. A firm NO was the answer. Walking back to the toilets with my pants and trousers around my ankles was a walk of shame
I don't know who invented that anti-bacterial hand gel but I bet he's rubbing his hands together now.
