JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6183
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  4. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    An elderly woman goes to the doctor.
    She says, "Doc, I'm undergoing through a terrible mental trauma - I pass gas all the time!!!
    Fortunately, it's odorless and silent, otherwise I'd be mortified. For example, I've passed gas
    ten times just since we've been talking, but it's odorless and silent so you can't tell."

    The doctor gives her some green pills and tells her to take one a day and come back in a week.

    The woman comes back after taking the pills for a week.
    She says, "Doc, there's been a change but not for the better. I still pass gas all the time, but while it's still silent, now it smells terrible!"

    The doctor says, "Well, I'm glad we cleared up your sinus blockage.

    Now we'll have to work on your hearing.
     
    #6184
  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  6. daimungeezer

    daimungeezer Well-Known Member

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    Didn't think you had such a young daughter Taff <laugh>

    And all those poor ladies are all called Marilyn <whistle>
     
    #6186
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  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh> <cheers>
     
    #6188
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  9. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6190
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6192
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Kevin the Carrot jigsaw for sale £10

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    #6194
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  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #6195
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  17. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    A man died and went to Heaven.
    As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
    He asked, "What are all those clocks for?"
    St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."
    "Oh", said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
    "That's Mother Teresa's", replied St. Peter.
    "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
    "Incredible", said the man.
    "And whose clock is that one?"
    St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.
    The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life."
    "Where's Donald Trump's clock?" asked the man.
    St. Peter replied, up there, "We're using it as a ceiling fan.
     
    #6197
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  19. TheRealBubbles

    TheRealBubbles Well-Known Member

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  20. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

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    I know it’s a joke, but Corbyn would sell his soul to the devil for votes.
     
    #6200

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