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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5261
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5262
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5263
    kiwiqpr and neveroffsidereff like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    BREAKING NEWS:-

    A man has been found dead in the Solent.He was wearing a Southampton shirt, women's knickers, fishnet stockings, a blow up doll on the end of his penis and a dildo up his arse.

    Police have removed the shirt to spare his family any embarrassment!
     
    #5264
    swantastic and neveroffsidereff like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5265
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  7. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

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    Like that!!
     
    #5267
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5268
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5270
    daimungeezer likes this.

  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5271
    daimungeezer and Wooperts_duck like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A newly married couple moved into their new home. The next day, the woman asked her husband: "Darling, one of the pipes in the bathroom is leaking, could you please fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like to you, Bob the Builder?" A few days later, the woman asked another favour from her husband: "Honey, my car isn’t starting, can you drive me to the grocery store?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like to you, a taxi driver?" A week later, the woman discovers a leak on the roof. "Darling, the roof is leaking, can you please find a reliable handyman to fix it for us?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like to you, the yellow pages?"
    One rainy day, the husband suddenly noticed that the leak had disappeared. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn’t leaking either. When the woman returned home in her car, the husband asked her, "My dear, how it is that there are no more leaks and the car is working?" She replied, "Oh, I ran into one of our neighbours, Daniel. He’s such a nice guy, he came and fixed everything.”
    "Wow," marvelled the husband, "did he charge us for all of it?"
    "No," said the woman. "He said he would do it for free if I baked him a cake or slept with him."
    "Oh good," the husband rejoiced. "What kind of cake did you bake him?" The woman looked at the husband and said, "What do I look like to you, Mary Berry?”
     
    #5272
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5273
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5274
  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    I was at Heathrow in the Arrivals Hall waiting for my sister.

    When I saw her I shouted “Hi sis”
    .......

    Never seen so many armed police in my life <yikes>
     
    #5275
    daimungeezer and Wooperts_duck like this.
  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    My girlfriend was going to the hairdressers.

    She asked me what cut would make her more attractive.

    Seems that a power cut wasn’t the right answer .....
     
    #5276
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    Midwife for sale.

    Can deliver.
     
    #5277
  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5278
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5279
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  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    I came second in a Winston Churchill look alike competition

    Close but no cigar.....
     
    #5280
    daimungeezer likes this.

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