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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5221
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 31, 2019
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    These Government cut backs to our armed forces - are really taking the piss now.......

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    #5222
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 31, 2019
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5223
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 31, 2019
    daimungeezer, swantastic, neveroffsidereff and 1 other person like this.
  4. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    Sweet and sour <laugh>
     
    #5224
    Taffvalerowdy, Jul 31, 2019
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5225
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 31, 2019
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    After finding 3 mars bars , 2 snickers , and 4 packets of m+m's

    I realised i wasn't cut out to be a bounty hunter.........
     
    #5226
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 31, 2019
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  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    So he did a Twirl as he said goodbye.....
     
    #5227
    Taffvalerowdy, Jul 31, 2019
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  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A bloke from Barnsley goes to a goldsmiths and asks, "Can tha mek us a gold statue of mi pet whippet?"
    The goldsmith says 'of course I can, then asks: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
    The man replies :"Nay ye daft lad....' chewin' a bone'll do fine."
     
    #5228
    kiwiqpr, Aug 1, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5229
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2019
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5230
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2019
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar.
    • The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.
    • "Y"ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back hame.
    • Why, in Glasgow there"s a wee bar called McTavish"s.
    • Now, the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks, he will buy the 5th drink for you."
    • "Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first two."
    • "Ahhh, that"s nuttin," said the Irishman.
    • "Back home in Dublin there"s O"Driscoll"s Bar.
    • Now, the moment you set foot in the place they"ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like.
    • Then, when you"ve had enough drinks, they"ll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house."
    • "Wow," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
    • "Not me, myself, personally, no," said the Irishman "but it happened to me sister!"
     
    #5231
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2019
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5232
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 1, 2019
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5233
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 2, 2019
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • I hear that the credit crunch is even affecting fairgrounds.
    • My friend's a dodgems operator and he lost his job this morning.
    • He's suing for funfair dismissal.
     
    #5234
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 2, 2019
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5235
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5236
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2019
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5237
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2019
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The car dash onions.

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    #5238
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2019
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5239
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2019
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #5240
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 3, 2019
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