WARNING!! SCAM ALERT Keep an eye out for these two women. They're hanging around in and around Dunnes stores on the Childers Road Limerick and when you are putting your bags into the car they approach you asking for a lift to Chicken hut. These girls are very convincing and quite attractive! Once in your car one of them takes her clothes off while getting on top of you to distract you while the other takes your wallet. I've had my wallet stolen now on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th, twice yesterday and probably two more times tomorrow. Dunnes have wallets for sale for €3.99 but I've found some in Penny's for only €1.49 so have bought 4. Also, you never actually make it to Chicken hut so I've also lost 11lbs please log in to view this image
My son said, "Dad, when was the first time you fell in love?" I said, "I was 18. I walked into a bar and spotted the most gorgeous blonde I'd ever seen. Cupid fired his arrow the second I saw her." He said, "WOW…So what happened?" I said, "Nothing son. Unfortunately the arrow missed and hit your f*cking Mother."
At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started walking toward the pastor slowly. Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation. The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?" The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."
Three psychiatrist are talking. . . Three psychiatrist are talking about how everyone comes to them with their problems but they have no one to go to with their problems. They agree to share their problems with each other. The first psychiatrist says, “I’m addicted to Barbiturates. I write myself prescriptions all the time.” The second psychiatrist says, “I’m a compulsive gambler. I overcharge my patients to pay for my gambling addiction.” The third psychiatrist says, “I can’t keep a secret. My patients tell me their secrets in confidence and I divulge it to everyone.”
My wife phoned me, panting and breathless. "Where are you?" she moaned. "I'm at the pub." I replied. She said, "I think the baby's coming!" I said, "She won't get in,... she's under-age.!!
A woman was breast feeding her baby, when she noticed the window cleaner watching her. Indignantly, she said, "what do you think you"re staring at?" He replied, apologetically, "when I was a baby, I was bottle fed so I was just fascinated." The woman says, "well, baby"s had enough but there"s some left if you want to find out what it"s like." The window cleaner climbed in through the window and started to feed. After a short time, the woman realised that she was becoming aroused and she asked, "would you like a little bit of some thing else?" He replied, "have you got a rusk?"
