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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4261
    kiwiqpr, Feb 19, 2019
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  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Katie Hopkins has British Citizenship revoked
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    The right-wing commentator Katie Hopkins has had Her British Citizenship revoked.
    Her family received a letter today saying she has 47-minutes to f**k off out of it and that she has the right to appeal as long as it is submitted by last Tuesday.
    A source said, ‘The Home Secretary was just signing the Shamima Begum letter and thought ‘Ah b*llocks to it. While I’m here.’
    ‘He said he will sort out James Blunt and everyone on Loose Women when he gets into the office tomorrow.’
    According to the Magna Carta, any British citizen can actually have their single citizenship revoked.
    In these circumstances, by default it is replaced with honorary citizenship of the People’s Republic of Button Moon.
     
    #4262
    kiwiqpr, Feb 19, 2019
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4263
    kiwiqpr, Feb 20, 2019
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • A new map of the world has been drawn.

    • The North Pole is at the top, the South Pole is at the bottom and every other soddin' Pole is in Britain.
     
    #4264
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 20, 2019
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4265
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 20, 2019
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A Catholic priest and an Imam were sitting in adjacent seats on an airplane. The Catholic priest was having his bacon sandwich while the Imam had a veggie burger. After a while, the priest turned to the Imam and asked,
    "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you do not eat pork?"

    The Imam responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

    The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten a bacon sandwich?"

    "No" answered the Imam

    The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later the Imam spoke up and asked, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

    The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

    The Imam then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

    The priest replied, "Yes, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith."

    The Imam nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.

    Finally, the Imam quietly observed, "Beats the s*it out of a bacon sandwich, doesn't it?"
     
    #4266
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 20, 2019
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4267
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 20, 2019
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4268
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 20, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4269
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 20, 2019
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4270
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 20, 2019
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  11. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

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    I’m going to tweet that to Marcron & Junker!! :)
     
    #4271
    neveroffsidereff, Feb 21, 2019
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  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    Better change the age to 93 <whistle>

    Not sure many 8 year olds would have been storming the beaches <cheers>
     
    #4272
    Taffvalerowdy, Feb 21, 2019
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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4273
    kiwiqpr, Feb 21, 2019
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4274
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 21, 2019
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4275
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 21, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4276
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 21, 2019
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Men with big penises are 85.9623858484% more likely to come up with stupid statistics.
     
    #4277
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 21, 2019
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    It was such a tough area where I was brought up.

    My first job was as a rear gunner on a milk float.
     
    #4278
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 21, 2019
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  19. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

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    Pardon!! :)
     
    #4279
    neveroffsidereff, Feb 22, 2019
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  20. neveroffsidereff

    neveroffsidereff Well-Known Member

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    Was that down in Pulsgrove? :)
     
    #4280
    neveroffsidereff, Feb 22, 2019
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