Racism is bad because people shouldn't be judged on the colour of their skin and the sooner white people realise this the better.
Just got the missus a new bag and a new belt for Christmas. She'll be made up... The hoover's as good as new now!
My wife reckons she's 'staying dry in January'. Fat chance with a hunk like me knocking round the house.
I once knew a Swiss woman who could open a bottle in her cleavage, take a stone from a horses hoof with her finger and take a screw out with her thumb She was a Swiss Army Wife
Frank and Fiona were making passionate love in Frank's van when suddenly Fiona, who was a bit on the kinky side,and had just read "50 shades of grey", yells out, "Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!" Frank, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy. About a week later Fiona notices that the marks left by the whipping session are not healing and starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: "Did you get these marks having sex?" Fiona a little too embarrassed that she had even had sex with Frank, let alone allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits, "Yes I did." Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims: "I thought so because in all my years as a doctor you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."
The BBC are always rejecting my sitcom ideas. Now they don't like three female cops dealing with crime in Lancashire. I had such hopes for Chorley's Angels...
I live in constant fear that someone in Swansea will kidnap, torture and murder my mother in law who is an avid Cardiff City supporter. She lives all alone in 48 St Helens Road Swansea, in Apt 32 on the 3rd Floor ......
