It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman. My name is Tom. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my lady, Julie. When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job for the extra income that we need. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get home. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's usual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another symptom of ageing is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to do the shopping during her lunch hour. But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a rest when she has only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's vacuuming through the house. It does annoy me, vacuuming when I'm trying to watch my favourite programme, but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing lady because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other, eh? EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly last week. He was found with a 24-inch Stanley screwdriver rammed up his a*s* with only 2 inches showing. His wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.
A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work... Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke... Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish"... The man then asks, "What happens when it's over and I don't want to continue"...? The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234' and it will then go down. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year"... The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers... That night he showers, shaves and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed, cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised... His wife turns over and asks, "What did you say '123' for"...?
I can't believe my wife just told me I'm old fashioned...... And with her ankles showing ......the strumpet.......
