1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

Page 171 of 868
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3401
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2018
    daimungeezer likes this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3402
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2018
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    A Winchester woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'
    She replied, 'I'm late for work.'
    'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
    'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded.
    The cop stammered, 'A what?............
    'A Rectum Stretcher!'
    'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
    'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'
    'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?' he asked
    'You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge..
     
    #3403
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2018
    daimungeezer, neveroffsidereff and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3404
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2018
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,402
    Likes Received:
    225,209
    A group of Arizona bikers were riding on the US-93 heading South when they came to the Hoover Dam where they saw a girl about to jump to her death.

    So they stopped their bikes and George, their 53 year-old burly leader, got off and made his way through the throng of gawkers, and passed the State Trooper who had been despatched to talk the girl down, and stopped near to where the girl was standing.

    George looked up at her and said “Watchca babe .... what you doing up there in that railing?”

    “I’m going to kill myself ...” she tearfully responded.

    Whilst he didn’t want to appear to be sensitive, George also didn’t want to miss the opportunity to ‘be a legend.’

    “Hey honey babe, why don’t you give old George here your best last kiss before you jump?”

    So, without hesitation, she leaned back over the railings and gave George a long lingering kiss, quickly followed by an even longer and better smacker.

    After they breathlessly finished, George was given the thumbs-up from his fellow bikers, and even the State Trooper gave a nod of approval.

    “Wow, Honey, that’s the best kiss I’ve ever had. That’s a real talent you’re wasting, Sugar Shorts.”

    “You could be famous if you joined our band of bikers.”

    “Why do you want to kill yourself?” asked George

    “My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”

    It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.....
     
    #3405
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2018
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 14, 2018
    Wooperts_duck, daimungeezer and kiwiqpr like this.
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3406
    kiwiqpr, Oct 14, 2018
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3407
    kiwiqpr, Oct 14, 2018
    neveroffsidereff, swantastic, daimungeezer and 1 other person like this.
  8. swanseaandproud

    swanseaandproud Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2011
    Messages:
    23,953
    Likes Received:
    5,585
     
    #3408
    swanseaandproud, Oct 15, 2018
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  9. swanseaandproud

    swanseaandproud Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2011
    Messages:
    23,953
    Likes Received:
    5,585
    please log in to view this image
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3409
    swanseaandproud, Oct 15, 2018
    daimungeezer, Wooperts_duck and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3410
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 15, 2018
    daimungeezer, kiwiqpr, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3411
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 15, 2018
    swanseaandproud likes this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3412
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 15, 2018
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  13. swanseaandproud

    swanseaandproud Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2011
    Messages:
    23,953
    Likes Received:
    5,585
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3413
    swanseaandproud, Oct 15, 2018
    daimungeezer and Wooperts_duck like this.
  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    I had my 5 year old nephew try on a dress because he might be trans and he should get to explore gender fluidity.
    But he kept shouting, "I don't like dresses! Dresses are for girls!"
    What a transphobic little ****.
     
    #3414
    kiwiqpr, Oct 15, 2018
    neveroffsidereff and Wooperts_duck like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3415
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 15, 2018
    daimungeezer and neveroffsidereff like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3416
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 15, 2018
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3417
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 15, 2018
    Taffvalerowdy and neveroffsidereff like this.
  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,402
    Likes Received:
    225,209
    Neil Warnock & Graham Potter were being interviewed on BBC Wales today with Jason Mohammad asking them the question ...

    " What is your ambition for this season?"

    Warnock replies ... "I'd love to win a game"

    Potter replies ... "Well I'd like to win the Championship and the FA Cup"

    "That's a bit ambitious" ... says Jason to Potter.

    "Well he started it" ... said Potter
     
    #3418
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 16, 2018
    Wooperts_duck, neveroffsidereff and daimungeezer like this.
  19. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,402
    Likes Received:
    225,209
    I wonder what our parents did to kill the boredom before the internet?

    I asked my 26 brothers and sisters, and they didn’t know either......
     
    #3419
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 16, 2018
    daimungeezer and Wooperts_duck like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,789
    Likes Received:
    263,897
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3420
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 16, 2018
    neveroffsidereff likes this.
Page 171 of 868

Share This Page