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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3361
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 10, 2018
    55282, neveroffsidereff and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3362
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 10, 2018
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3363
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 10, 2018
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3364
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 10, 2018
    daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Best advice I have ever received, don't let Sean Connery teach your dog to sit......
     
    #3365
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 10, 2018
    kiwiqpr, daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Every time I drive past a field of cows, my wife leans out the window shouting abuse.

    Turns out she is dairy intolerant.
     
    #3366
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 10, 2018
    kiwiqpr and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    Breaking news:

    A man who took British Airways to court for losing his luggage has lost his case.....
     
    #3367
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 11, 2018
    daimungeezer, Wooperts_duck and neveroffsidereff like this.
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Congratulations to my wife on reaching a new culinary milestone. Today she set off the neighbours smoke alarm!
     
    #3368
    kiwiqpr, Oct 11, 2018
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3369
    kiwiqpr, Oct 11, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3370
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 11, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3371
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 11, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The wife leans over to me today, and says “ my nipples are as hot today as they were fifty years ago”.

    I said "they ought to be, ones in your coffee, and the others in your porridge".
     
    #3372
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 11, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My son didn't cope well with going to jail.

    He refused to eat or drink anything. He swore at everyone and covered his room with his own s*it.

    After that we never played Monopoly again.
     
    #3373
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 11, 2018
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  14. swanseaandproud

    swanseaandproud Well-Known Member

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    #3374
    swanseaandproud, Oct 11, 2018
    kiwiqpr, daimungeezer, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3375
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 11, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3376
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 12, 2018
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  17. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    Today, I saw someone waving and I wasn’t sure whether they were waving at me or at someone behind me.

    In other news, I was fired from my lifeguard job
     
    #3377
    swantastic, Oct 12, 2018
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  18. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    Ironing done.

    Hoovering done.

    Washing done.

    Dusting done.

    Kids bathed.

    Kids in bed.

    Perfect!



    Now I can leave the pub!
     
    #3378
    swantastic, Oct 12, 2018
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  19. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    There are some horrible barstewards about. I heard a right commotion going on outside my house last night.

    I opened the door and there were 4 blokes in Cardiff City shirts playing football with a cat.

    I was just about to call the RSPCA when the cat went 1-0 up......
     
    #3379
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 12, 2018
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  20. daimungeezer

    daimungeezer Well-Known Member

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    An "oldie but goldie" Taff.

    And the joke as well <laugh>
     
    #3380
    daimungeezer, Oct 12, 2018
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