I saw a dwarf using a rope to get over the prison wall yesterday. I thought 'that's a little condescending.'
I was in the Bank this morning and the nurse in front of me had to sign some paperwork, she looked in her bag and pulled out a rectal thermometer, placed it on the document and said “Oh sh*te, where’s my biro...”
I've been having a problem with nuisance phone calls... The most common one seems to be, "You said you'd be home from the pub three hours ago!"
Now the transfer window has shut, Liverpool fans are disappointed that they didn’t get Bale. They are going back to Court next week to try again.....
