As it's Yorkshire Day today, I'll share one of my favourite Yorkshire jokes with you. A guy from Leeds goes to the vets. Vet says, "I hear you've got a problem with your cat?" "Aye, I ave" the guy replies. "Is it a tom?" the Vet asks? "No", the man says, "I've brought it with me."
For goodness sake, it's 2018... Surely we should have closed the #genderpaygap between all 9,630 genders by now?!
Another utterly crap birthday party at my brother's house yesterday. I know he's a Bomb Disposal Technician, but does it really take 4 hours to open each present?
Some bastard broke into my house, made hell of a mess and stole my anti-depressants. I hope they’re happy now.....
A woman was breast feeding her baby, when she noticed the window cleaner watching her. Indignantly, she said, "what do you think you"re staring at?" He replied, apologetically, "when I was a baby, I was bottle fed so I was just fascinated." The woman says, "well, baby"s had enough but there"s some left if you want to find out what it"s like." The window cleaner climbed in through the window and started to feed. After a short time, the woman realised that she was becoming aroused and she asked, "would you like a little bit of some thing else?" He replied, "have you got a rusk?"
Did you know that the safest seats to sit in on a aeroplane are located behind the wings. Unless you're flying with RyanAir, their safest seats are located in their departure lounge!
BBC News: An Indian builder has fallen through a roof at a Lionel Richie concert. A spokesman said "The last thing I saw was Dan Singh on the ceiling."
