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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • Which three English League teams have swear words in their name?
    • 1) Arsenal
    • 2) Scunthorpe United.
    • 3) Manchester F*cking United.
     
    #2521
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 8, 2018
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2522
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 8, 2018
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2523
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 8, 2018
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  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #2524
    kiwiqpr, Jul 9, 2018
    swantastic and Wooperts_duck like this.
  5. swanseaandproud

    swanseaandproud Well-Known Member

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    #2525
    swanseaandproud, Jul 9, 2018
    kiwiqpr and Wooperts_duck like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner,

    So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
     
    #2526
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
    neveroffsidereff, swantastic, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Things turned really ugly at my house last night.

    The wife removed her make up.
     
    #2527
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
    neveroffsidereff, kiwiqpr and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Anyone got a owners manual for a wife?

    Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise!
     
    #2528
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
    kiwiqpr likes this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    JACK WILSHERE BREAKS ANKLE AND PULLS HAMSTRING IN WEST HAM PRESS CONFERENCE

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    #2529
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2530
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2531
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2532
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
    neveroffsidereff, daimungeezer and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2533
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
    kiwiqpr likes this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."

    Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

    "Oh dad," the boy sobbed, "when I was 6 I got the there's no Santa speech. At 7, I got the there's no Easter Bunny speech. When I was 8, you hit me with the there's no Tooth Fairy' speech. If you tell me that grown-ups don't really f*ck, I'll have nothing left to live for."
     
    #2534
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2535
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 9, 2018
    kiwiqpr and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #2536
    kiwiqpr, Jul 10, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2537
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 10, 2018
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Q: If a dove is the "bird of peace" then what's the bird of "true love"?

    A: The swallow.
     
    #2538
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 10, 2018
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2539
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 10, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    After his performances at the World Cup, Neymar is the favourite to win the FIFA Fallon D'Floor.
     
    #2540
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 10, 2018
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