was going into my local Asda when a group of kids about 14 years old asked me to get them 20 Richmond', I agreed & took their money, I came out & handed them to the biggest lad, they promptly started shouting abuse at me, next time they can get their own sausages.
My blonde wife and I got into an argument because I accused her of being stupid. Eventually she jumped up out of her chair and yelled, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't walk out that door!" I replied, "The plane hasn't landed yet."
The England team visited an orphanage in Russia yesterday. "It's heartbreaking to see their little faces with no hope" said Vladimir, aged 6.
I asked my boss, "What do you want me to do with this 6 meter roll of bubble wrap?" He replied, "Just pop it in the corner." ...............4 f*cking hours it took me!
Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns? Stirling Moss. Lewis Hamilton. Eddie Irvine. Ayr Town centre.
Accordion to a recent survey replacing words with names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected .....
