I have 18:31. I haven't heard back from a friend today (nor since sharing a few pints on Friday), so for the time being I'll have to keep this off the public forum - though I will disclose some early info via private message.
No wonder Ben Haim is leaving! Expect Luzon to follow quickly. Not only Katrien will be leaving but no women will be permitted on the staff. It is unclear as yet if female spectators will be permitted but, if so, they will certainly be segregated. The club store will order burkas and yashmaks in the club colours. No more alcohol will be sold at the ground, though fine wines and champers will be available in the directors box and hospitality suites. Sheep's eyes pasties will be added to the menu in the refreshment areas. Results are expected to pick up after the institution of a "stick and carrot" policy. Goalscorers will receive gold-plated Mercs while defenders who concede goals will receive a hundred lashes (goalkeepers are exempt). Obviously all our existing defenders will want to leave and we will not be able to recruit new ones. But this will not be a problem as we will not need defenders. The whole team will consist of star attackers, so plenty of excitement and goals. Messi and Ronaldo will feature in the first wave of signings The new owner has no need of the pitiful sums raised by Valley Gold so those funds will be passed directly to Al Quaeda. Mourinho will be recruited as manager.
We'd hate it. First thing you know, we'd be buying expensive European and African superstars, winning matches hand over fist and eventually lifting trophies. After a couple of seasons of Champions League football, we'd all moan about how its not fair that Platini was trying to out us about Financial Fair Play or some such nonsense. Then would come the complaints about losing players to the African Cup of Nations just as we're about to face Halifax in the FA Cup, and the squad getting dragged off for training sessions in Riyadh. It'd end in tears. It always does with Charlton.
