I chopped my nads off this morning after reading this article. http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/09/24/us-science-eunuchs-idUSBRE88N0NJ20120924
Yes, sex is all very well but it's not like the real thing. Lets face it, we are all ****ers, men and women.
I have reached the age where I have to get the timing right or else there is the fear of the chap turning into a wet noodle half way through. I was once able to knock one off the wrist a couple of times a day and still be ready to breach enemy lines should the need arise. I now have to judge when the other half is up for it and not on rag week and to have a full dose of man medicine ready to off-load. Used to be the case that if I'd emptied the barracks of little soldiers then the muck canon would be still be primed but wouldn't fire for hours but nowadays there has to be a big shot ready in the barrel to ensure satisfactory discharge and it is on a hair trigger! A good pump keeps the missus happy for a few days so I am able to indulge in self abuse for a day or two after giving her the treatment but need at least 3 or 4 days before the ammunition is back to anywhere near battle stations. If she is working away I have to make sure she gets it the night before so she leaves with a smile on her face and I can then make a mess for a few nights with no guilt.
I've heard it said that cats and dogs live longer if you get them done young, a little less to go wrong.
When I get home tomorrow she's gonna get it right up her, the full 3 minutes worth*. *3 minutes includes getting the kit off, foreplay, full penetrative sex and a post sex cigarette.
When giving the missus the message I feel duty bound to ensure that she is in receipt of a decent amount of man-glue. Only right that she goes to work the next day with stinky sticky knickers. If you have been too busy indulging in self abuse so that all you can manage when you finish is a dry cough she is bound to notice a lack of protein in the gusset of her skants. Also, if you have emptied your sack over the keyboard/art pamphlet or all over the dog (trust me, this was a thread a while back) then you are denied the fun to be had with the resulting creampie. Like all good comedy, pumping the missus is all about Timing.