Off Topic I'm no good at goobyes.

Have we stopped talking about circumcision, now?

 

Do you have yours in the freezer?

 

they’ve cut it short for some reason

 

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You may be confusing the word 'respect' with the word 'inspect' in that case ... but as long as it is putting a smugly superior smile on the other guy's faces, then fair play to you, sir ....

 

Sure Spurly said he was brought up in the hood?

#Hoodersfield

 

He ignored us and began to pray. How could we argue? He was holding scissors very, very close to our second son’s penis. The baby was circumcised in the kitchen, about 40 feet from where he was born.

The foreskin seemed easy to dispose of. The placenta, on the other hand, was double-Ziploc bagged and looked like a Costco-sized steak coated in freezer frost.
Into the freezer the foreskin went.

Eight months later, I was staring down the barrel of a to-do list 30 items deep. We were moving to Napa the following day. I had to get cash for the movers. Pack the hose. Do something with the placenta and the foreskin.

The foreskin seemed easy to dispose of. It was small and wrapped inoffensively in white gauze. The placenta, on the other hand, was double-Ziploc bagged and looked like a Costco-sized steak coated in freezer frost. There was no way I was hiking into the hills, alone, to bury the placenta in a deep, deep hole with the to-do list tying a tighter and tighter knot around my esophagus.

I put the placenta and foreskin into a tote bag and drove to the Berkeley marina.

It was a classic how-did-I-end-up-here moment. I hadn’t always wanted children. Now I had two. I was born in a hospital and raised on a respectable suburban diet of Taco Bell and no religion. But my second son was born at home like a pioneer baby and circumcised in my kitchen by a real Jew, unlike me.

We had chosen to have the baby at home for a number of reasons, but none were radical. I simply wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be left alone to be the animal I am and have my baby.

There was no spiritual aspect to the birth. No chants. No burning sage. No pulsating umbilical cord. Like many people who are raised without ritual, I both mocked and craved it. Who needs it? Who wanders lost and cold without it?

The marina is a sketchy place where people go to sit in their cars with the windows rolled up, smoke, and get into long fights with relatives on their phones. I sat in my car, opened the freezer bags, and pulled loose the plastic that was stuck to the frozen placenta. I wanted to make sure that the organ would slide out easily.

I found as private of a spot as I could, opened my bag, and dropped the placenta and the gauze-wrapped foreskin into the bay.
My plan had been to walk the full 3,000 feet to the end of the pier and dump the placenta into the deepest part of the bay accessible to someone not on a boat. But of course, that Tuesday morning there were hordes of fishermen waiting patiently for flounder to bite. Many of them were accompanied by elderly relatives dozing in folding chairs. The end of the pier was no longer an option.

So I found as private of a spot as I could, opened my bag, and dropped the placenta and the gauze-wrapped foreskin into the bay.

Then the unbelievable happened: The placenta floated.

I stared at my medical waste bobbing below me, umbilical cord unraveling and frozen blood bleeding off, in plain sight of every fisherman in Berkeley and their mothers—literally. The foreskin bobbed faithfully alongside it, Sancho-style.

I looked around wildly to see who had seen. I prayed a shark would take care of the problem. But then I prayed that a shark would not take care of the problem. Would you want to see a fish with tooth-like scales devouring your defrosting placenta and your son’s dried foreskin? Would you want to see what had once been a part of you being eaten?

I ran. Or rather I walked away very, very quickly. I shoved the bloody freezer bags into the municipal garbage.

 

FFS Fosse!

 

Fair play

 

I have been asked some strange things in my life, but never “Do you keep your foreskin in the freezer!

 

Wtf?!

 

The answer is “no,” by the way.

 

So you could only last a week without not606 this time.

Now the cakes have run out in your cave, pls update the DOLL

 

I was gone for a while.

I’m not sure how long I’ll be staying.

 

#freshouttafucksforever

 

That isn’t helping, Luvvy.

 

How Sad do you think how that really matters?

 

I think your sarcasm detection system is faulty mate also your memory, you answered this post earlier, and i said to you my sarcastic comment was in response to you waving some forum respect flag with comms face on it at hiag.

 

Sarcastic moi?

 

No but pretentious, probably.