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I'm gong to get sacked - advice needed.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by SleepySpecialK, Apr 5, 2013.

  1. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    DEV wins. That's a great idea.

    Watch Sky News all you mufus.

    DEV, where can I get a gun or some of your pipe bombs?
     
    #21
  2. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Going Postal
    it is then <ok>
     
    #22
  3. Tina.

    Tina. Well-Known Member

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    Come work for me. I can't guarantee it pays well, but by **** we'd have a lot of fun ;)
     
    #23
  4. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    I'm so ****ing crazy I'm going to kill Philies and Fearb's sister. She does my nut in.
     
    #24
  5. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    Who?
     
    #25
  6. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Hmm, Guns, those are tricky to obtain at short notice and if you have no real contacts within the seedy underworld of the criminal fraternity then it's a toughie. Perhaps a Nerf gun from Hamley's modified in some way would be the best bet for shock value. When you storm the office they will naturally cower in terror at the merest glimpse of a possible firearm.

    Take the chance that their cowardly huddling provides you and pipe bomb the **** out of them all.

    Many Pipe Bomb recipes are readily available on the internet.
     
    #26
  7. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    Make me an offer sweet cheeks.
     
    #27
  8. Tina.

    Tina. Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant <laugh><applause>
     
    #28
  9. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    That sounds like a great idea! I don't really want to kill anyone, I just want to see the fear of death in their eyes

    Paintball guns do the trick?
     
    #29
  10. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Drain out the paint and fill them with your own bodily fluids. Bish bosh, job done.
     
    #30

  11. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    Guns are 10 a penny, the only thing is, people don't want to sell them, because if you get caught, then the guy who sold you the gun gets done for murder too, or some such ****. The way forward is to pay somebody to shoot them for you.
     
    #31
  12. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Are you proposing that I offer myself out to Sleepy as a Hitman?
     
    #32
  13. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    No I am proposing that I set him up with one, so I get some commission.
     
    #33
  14. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    Howabout applying to the BBC for a job presenting one of their kids animal shows? I am certain your knowledge of interesting animal facts would be a boon. Are you any good at doing voices? Only I think kids TV is screaming out for another Johnny Morris.
     
    #34
  15. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    But I don't have any money, will you fund it for me as a favour? I'll owe you.
     
    #35
  16. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    How much commission we talking about?
     
    #36
  17. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Whoa there, just a cotton picking minute, I'll do the negotiations here. When me an Monaco have reached an agreement we'll let you know.
     
    #37
  18. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    Fantastic idea, thanks Grove.

    I can do ALL animal noises. Here's my chimp noise which I recorded in the Congo, as a teaser:-

    OOooh, oooh, ohhh, aaaaahhh, ahhhhhh, oooowwww, aaaaaaahhhhhh.

    That chimp was one horny monkey.
     
    #38
  19. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    You can have 100% of the profits and I'll have 100% too.

    Is that acceptable?
     
    #39
  20. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    Well, obviously, it takes my time to phone the guy up and then there are admin fees, so I usually take 15% from the hitman and 15% from the guy who is paying the hitman, obviously the 2 don't know I am milking 2 cows though. Depending how smart the guy who wants the job done, it can sometimes be 50% from him.
     
    #40

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