Off Topic Ideal music for a curry house

To Cook A Tandoori Pork - Spandau Malay

 

She's got a Tikka to ride

 

The Curry Song (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)

Is this a Bhuna?
Or is this a Jalfrezi?
Mixed up my order,
They all look the same to me
open your gob,
Just swallow a forkful and see.
I'm just a student,
Need something real cheap to eat
because I'm stoney broke,
Not a bean.
Don't remember
The menu I've seen,
Korma, Saag or Madras
Doesn't really matter to me
To me...(piano bit here)

Naan-aa, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle now he's dead.
Naan-aa, dinner just begun
But now I'm going to **** it all away.
Naan-aa, ooh-ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry,
Seen nothin' yet just see the loo tomorrow,
Curry on, curry on,'cause nothing really madras.

Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers up my spine
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye every bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan-aa, ooh ooh,
This Dopiaza's mild,
Sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.

I see a little chickentikka on the side,
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh pass the chutney made of mango.
Vindaloo does very nicely
Very very spicey
ME!Biryani (Biryani)Biryani (Biryani)Biryani and a naan
O Vindaloooooooo
I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to a lavatory
Stand well back; this loo's quarantined.
Here it comes,
There it goes technicolour yawn
I chunder
No!
It's coming up again(There he goes)
I chunder
It's coming up again(There he goes)
I chunder
It's coming up again
Up again
Here it comes again,Here it comes again,Here it comes again,Here it comes again.
This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts
Poor me... Poor me... Poor me!
(Wayne's World head banging bit)

So you think you can chunder and think it's alright?
So you think you can eat curry and drink all night?
Ohh maybe, now you'll puke like a baby,
just had to come out,Just had to come right out in here...
Korma, saag or bhuna,Balti, naan or bhaji
Nothing makes a difference to me
To me.

 

...must have been a quiet night in Thailand...

 

It's always quiet Fosse but I'm guilty of some gentle plagiarism but it's funny

 

Excellent! Thick Robbie is back! He and Skiddy can conspire how to turn this board into a desert!

 

Nah you've already done that one #bottler with your incessant me, me, me. You have to remember sonny its not all about you!

 

Then stop paying attention to me!

Idiot!

 

Whether we do or not you'll still do the same **** it's driven people away in their droves. You must feel very proud of yourselves #bottler.

 

Nice try, Skiddy.

The lads love me. You, they have to endure, hoping that, eventually, you'll put your nob away, or simply leave the bus.

You window-licker!

 

Wasn't a try it was the truth my dear #bottler but you're childish insults only show how rattled you are. Log out at let the dominant voice have a go, he might have better luck?

 

#meltdown

 

Kids back to school tomorrow so we went for a curry this evening to commiserate (I mostly work from home and love the holidays and having my pair of mini Stans at home with me). The music was full on Bhangra club magic. Stanette loved it. Food was average though. See my Tripadvisor review.

 

The thought of three Lightnings in one room is scary!

"Yer dern't poot fookin' left leg in't middle joost yet!"

"Well, Ahm tellin' yer yer do poot fookin' left leg in't middle noo!"

"Ner! Yer dern't!"

Etc

 

Hull or Scottish?

I'm working on a sketch of the HIAGs at the Westminster service station after Mrs HIAG totalled the Rover 25 and the AA told her to stop calling them and get someone else from the trailer park to pick her up.

 

Manc, mate.



Glad to have helped.

It was a Peugeot 307, actually.

And where the **** is the Westminster service station?

 

That's not Manc posh boy

Westminster, Winchester, ****fester does it really matter given it was all a figment of your imagination?

 

It's Manc to us Southern posh boys.

Well, it did happen. Whether you believe it or not doesn't alter the fact.

 

Your parents must feel like that school completely ripped them off.