I have never...O/T

or seen Sound of Music

 

I have never;

watched titanic
hit a hole in one
kissed a marmot
met a binner who doesn't bang on about history
bought a car from new
bungee jumped
seen an elephant fly
wished to eat McDonalds a second time

and

I'll be buggered if I've had anal sex!

Bah!

 

I have never

Seen ET!
Wanted to smack anybody as much as my next door neighbour!
seen an episode of TOWIE or Made in Chelsea!

 

I've never known Jonah not to be angry

 

I have never seen a door be a jar
I have never lost the benefit of wearing a coat in doors
I have never howled at the moon
I have never seen anyone NOT yawn immediately after someone else has
I have never seen Simon Cowell on TV without thinking I want to punch his fecking lights out!

 

Never seen any of the Star Wars films!

 

I have never found Katie Price to be remotely attractive!

 

not even in the pink latex, whilst pregnant on eurovision?

 

I broadly agree with you but even worse is the totally unattractive Jodie Marsh!

I'd sooner kiss a frog!

 

Other than the original series, I have never seen any Star Trek episdoes or feature films

 

I have never known Dave to share his stash of Malt with anyone....

 

You never had an alcoholic drink? (taxable drug)

Or do you mean, as the late, great Bill Hicks would have said, you've never taken "those untaxable drugs"?

 

Never drunk alcohol
Never had sex
Never had lustful thoughts about newsreaders or weathergirls
Never told a dirty joke
Never gambled
Never farted and blamed someone else
Never been to Carrow Road
Never told the truth

 

this is possibly slanderous, but in all probability, correct.