I feel down this morning

Ever since I met my wife , I sleep like a baby ....I sleep for an hour , get up and cry for an hour , sleep for an hour .......

 

Thats true, ive known loads of ****wits, ugly as sin, but have the patter, get a bit off hairy rat.

 

It's probably best just to whack your cock out. They either like it or they don't.

 

Not while my tag is bleeping.

 

You not find an ugly, uncharming, low in confidence boiler?

 

I'd rather pay the money for some exotic Asian chick, saves me earholes getting a bashing, and having to sniff a rancid hairy blurt.

 

Off course i'm lying. I'm one of the few daft enough to post pics of themself on here. loads of times

 

And for 1000 baht where's the harm...

 

I used one in a nightclub in bangkok years ago. I was all togged up and standing at the bar drinking a vodka Martini when this cracking bint sidled up and said 'ooh get you, who do you think you are; James Bond'?

I said nah love I'm Uni Bond I'm here to fill your crack!

 

Did she then chuck png pong balls out off her fish pie?

 

No, chocolate pudding.

 

... just out of interest (and ignoring the charges, fines and custodial stays) what would you say your % success rate is, with that approach?

 

... the "blurt sniffing" isn't compulsory... unless it's now replaced the air kiss on each cheek in the North East as a greeting?

 

....I'm sensing a pinch of poetic licence here ...

 

I will confess to having used "Have you got any Irish in you?" during my younger days ... guarantees you the punchline...

"No" ...

"Would you like some?"

or

"Yes"

"Well... would you like a little bit more?"

 

I go drinking in the bigg market. So I'd say 50/50

 

Does @Commachio frequent it with his nuvo sophisticated "Aahreet pet, can wa sniff ya blurt, like?" approach?

 

I'd probably get lynched if i went to the bigg market.

 

I’m sorry for not being on here recently. I found out last week that a friend of my mine that I knew for 20 years died, I admit, I was depressed for a couple of days, Epsecially, Given the fact that it’s almost Christmas as well, Apart from that, I’ve been busy with work, I break up on Friday.its also my birthday next Thursday, Crystal Palace play Arsenal on that day, It’s on sky bh the way.