How would you describe the season figuratively

"Another fine mess"

 

But we tried to roll one in glitter.

 

Road to nowhere

 

The bottom has fallen out of our canoe up the creek with no paddle surrounded by dead ducks. We somehow limply swim to shore only to end up up a blind alley. We have had our chips but the cake isn't worth the candles... it turns out only our own goose is cooked. We lean back and fumble for a smoke - close but no cigar: we've drawn a blank. As we head to the shop to fix this we fall at the first hurdle, stumble at the first fence and discover we've been flagged for a false start. We get in a losing battle with a little guy and fall on our sword. All we wanted was to get our foot in the door, but it ended up in our mouths. Out hopes have gone up in smoke, floating up to clouds with no silver lining that happen to look like the dogs, then come down as rain and slipped through our fingers.

 

Like this, only some bar steward moved the bridge.

 

Figuratively? 0/10 We were lucky to get 0.

 

There once was a team called saints
Who at one time used to be great
But Les sold them all, so down they would fall
With their first team defence in a state

 

What does figuratively mean?

 

Its what most people seem to mean when they say literally despite it having the opposite meaning.

saying this season is **** is speaking figuratively because the season isn't actually ****, its literally been a long series of games played at low levels of performance, buts that's not as catchy.

In my example I'm saying the season is like a pilotless plane clearly course to crash into a bunch of trees way past the runway but making no attempt to adjust course until it crashes.

edit: although i think its safe to assume **** probably has a dictionary entry now for the meaning "very bad" due to common usage. so saying something is literally **** would technically be correct i guess.

 

I hope that next season doesn't turn out to be like Les and the beanstalk, where Reed sells off our future for some (has) beans...

 

Our last few seasons have been like Napoleon's invasion of Russia.

Le Grande Armee crossed the Neman River in a mood of unbridled optimism, armed with sufficient men and resources to sweep all before it. It was later to transpire that a considerable proportion of the support at Napoleon's disposal was of the fairweather variety, and it wasn't long before key figures in his army began to desert.

Still, spurred on by dreams of martial glory in which he would imitate Alexander The Great (Ferguson), Boney continued the thrust to Moscow. When he got there, it proved not to be the promised land at all, but rather his undoing.

Having waited around in the Holy City on the Moscva River for some time, expecting to be welcomed as a conquering hero, it gradually began to dawn on the self appointed Emperor that no one was coming along to crown him in glory. In fact no one gave a stuff about him or knew who he was, and without far greater investment in supplies than he had available, his army was going to be starved out.

Reluctantly he accepted that he had over-reached himself, and ordered the retreat. Now began the most depressing chapter in his nation's history; his weary troops - those who had not deserted - became more downcast and desperate with every trudging step. Eventually the remnants of the all conquering force, that had once set out with such grandiose expectations, returned from whence it game, battered, bewildered, but not entirely defeated.

Boney himself had ****ed off in a sledge before the going got really rough, but history had another chapter that would bring the bold Bonaparte face to face with the Iron Duke at Wembley (having changed at Waterloo on the way).

 

In emoji :

 

a tonne of **** should be in the dictionary too