how old were you

This

 

I was rubbing bums with a lassie I knew when I was four.

 

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Nah, Sheila T****** was her name. She lived up the same close as me when I lived in Anderston.

 

Nah, we used to pull our pants down and rub bums, occasionally her front bottom against my tiny winkie, when you are four you are not really sure what the score is.

 

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Bottled doon?

Donovan used to live on my street, Billy Connolly 2 streets along.

 

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Ah I see. I left there when I was 5, moved to Dennistoun.

 

Leave the jokes to ER, eddie

 

First became interested in girls when i was about P6 I think, 8 or 9 years old.

 

Then I decided to hold back and focus all my energy into mastering the game Age of Empires.

 

I went out with a girl from P5 until the end of P7. In some ways I don't think I ever really got over her. True romance at 9.

 

I digitised a bird who grew tits when she was 9.






I was 18 at the time

 

I jest of course. I was 9 too.

 

I remember getting caught hiding in a wardrobe wi a finger inside the lassie from along the road when I was in primary 3 or there abouts. Her maw went ****ing ape **** and skelped my arse then sent me home. I telt my maw that she had hit me and my maw went charging round for a square go. When she found out why I got another beating. When my dad found out he laughed and said well done.

Only time the prick ever praised anything I have done.

 

About 30 seconds old I took one look at that nurse knew she was kinky and pissed all over her.

 

got detention for having a 69er with some burd when I was in P2