He'd be blaming Sunderland supporters for the bairns getting nowt for Christmas and then send them emails saying "we huffed and we puffed and we tried to get an iPod but all the parents are fighting in the aisles at the department stores. The kids have expectations that are too high these days. What's the matter with a Dansette record player? Get them a couple of singles and the new Slade album and it will be a hell of a Christmas. It's not my fault I was born in Wallsend. That doesn't come down your chimney."