Hey Whiffletree, hows ya doin Mukkah? Do you like my disguise
I said before the season started this will be the mini league you'll be playing in and after 5 games I've given them positions
5. Bournemouth
12. Palace
13. Southampton
15. Fulham
16. West Ham
17. Cardiff
18. Huddersfield
19. Newcastle
20. Burnley
Almost spot on, just need to replace Bournmouth with 14th place Brighton and bingo, there it is, your mini premier league, the teams you're actually competing against and the ones you need to be taking points off home and away. All you need do to survive is be better than three of them and already your showing better than Huddersfield, Burnley and I reckon Fulham too. I can see West Ham rallying but Newcastle and Southampton will both struggle and if Zaha gets injured so will Palace.
Your next competitive game then is against Burnley on the 30th, before that there's a day out to watch the best team in Europe, Citeh, close up which is always something else. Next month you play Fulham with days out to watch Spurs, Harry Kane, Deli (I'm not a diver I'm a real man) Ali, Klippity Klopp and Liverpool. Enjoy the days out, they're what being in the prem is all about but get serious against the teams in your mini league.
I got £10 bet at 5/1 (betfred) you'll still be prem league next season so don't let me down, that's a really nice bottle of Rum.