Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

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One day, Superman, Pinocchio and Snow White are walking along a road.
They pass a gym with a sign saying.
"Worlds strongest man competition today... free entry".
Superman goes in and 10 mins later comes out with a big trophy and a massive smile on his face after being announced the winner.
A little further on, they see an exhibition hall with a sign outside which say's.
"Beauty pagent today... "
So in walks Snow White.
Fifteen minutes later Snow White comes out with a diamond tiara and a sash announcing the most beautiful woman ever.
Both Superman and Snow White are elated.
Again, they all carried on.
Soon they come across a shop with a sign.
"Worlds biggest liar competition".
In walks Pinocchio, strutting his stuff.
Three minutes later he emerges, distraught and crying.
When asked why he was so upset he asked.
"Who the Fiddlesticks is Kier Starmer?"
 
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A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. ~~~He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer. " ~~~He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. ~~~About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday? " he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you.~~~But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with? "
 
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The top 8 things girls should say to men:

1. I'm bored, let's shave me snatch
2. Are you sure you've had plenty to drink?
3. That fart was awesome drop another!
4. Of course I swallow, it's amazing
5. No thats ok you watch porn, I'll toss you off after i've done these dishes.
6. Just for a change stick it up me arse.
7. Are you still shagging that girl at work?
8. Marriage? No fecking way!

Sadly, Carlsberg don't do these girlfriends, but Thailand does!
 
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