When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electric bill I am scared of the lights....
I was on a date last night and she said to me "I only slept with 3 guys before meeting you". I said "Bloody hell love, I was only half an hour late!".....
My friend sometimes puts her favourite chocolate bars in different wrappers. She got a bit mixed up yesterday and got her snickers in a twix.
I phoned my boss this morning. "I'm on the train heading to the south coast now." "What?" He answered, sounding a bit annoyed. "It's 5 o' clock in the morning! What are you doing on a train?" "You tell me," I replied. "You're the one who told me to be in Brighton early this morning!"
