Rumour has it that Elon Musk and Bill Gates are creating a new drug for pen1s enlargement. It’s called Elongates. And it cures a condition called Microsoft.
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds; but the man just shrugs, "That's about average up our way, folks...like I said - my boy's a typical County Clare baby boy." Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks ...how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled and concerned, "What happened? He was 25 pounds the day he was born." The father takes a slow swig of his Jameson Irish Whisky, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender, and proudly says, ...... "Had him circumcised!"
I asked my wife this morning, “Do you think the cup is half full or half empty?” She said, “For the love of god…will you stop wearing my bras?”
