My wife got her credit cards stolen but the guy is spending less money than her, so l’m just going to let it ride!
During the Covid lockdown, if you had family round on Christmas Day, Police could force entry to your home and make them go home. Does anybody know if this service is still available and if you have to book?
**********POLITE NOTICE ********** To people who have Christmas lights flashing blue on their houses/trees, can you please remove them? Every time I pass, I think it's the police and I have to let my foot off the accelerator, slam on my brakes, put my seat belt on, throw my mobile phone on the floor, hide my bottle of Smirnoff , swallow my joint and hide my gun. Thank you for your understanding.:
After many years of marriage, I think my wife still finds me sexy. Every time I go past her in the house she says, "What an ass."
Boy last night was windy…I now have 3 trampolines, a couple of hot tubs, a couple of gazebos and a spare caravan for sale. PM for details.... please log in to view this image
The local Chinese restaurant decided to diversify, and ( in the owners own words) was going to open a "crows"shop. I said to the owner (Ming), don't you mean "clothes shop"? "No" he replied, " come and take a Rook".
Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex, they decide on ‘washing machine’. Later in bed that night husband says, “Washing machine.” Wife replies, “Not tonight darling I have a headache.” Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.” Husband replies, “Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.”
I’ve just received a notification that, due to budget cuts, my local pantomime can only afford 6 Dwarfs for their production of “Snow White”. No-one’s Happy.
At this time of year I love sitting in front of a roaring fire, sipping mulled wine and listening to Christmas songs until I fall asleep. Probably why I lost my job as a firefighter.
