The waitress noticed me struggling to open the mini cornflake packet in the breakfast buffet. "Just slide your finger between the flaps", she suggested. That finished badly..... On bail till my court appearance
I said to the waiter what's the special today He said Tongue. I said I don't fancy eating something out of an animals mouth He said What about a couple of Boiled eggs then......
So I rang my mate Stan this morning and his wife answered. "I wanted to wish you and Stan a good holiday," I said. "You fly from Gatwick tomorrow, don't you?" She said, "Stansted." "Blimey," I said, "he seemed absolutely fine in the pub last night."
Just tried some of Elvis Costello's new Mediterranean sausages. They were delicious. I think olive salami is here to stay…
The woman at the Job Centre said, "You're always late, you ignore the queue of people and you're rude to everyone." I said, "What's your point?" "Have you ever thought of becoming a bus driver?" She replied
