Napoleon and his wife are buried next to each other. They're only a bone apart..... please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
A taxi was driving through a lower class town area, in the back of the taxi was a lady and her 12 year old son, he said "Mum, why are all these ladies standing in shop doorways? She said," oh, they're just waiting on there husband's coming home from work". The taxi driver says "why don't you tell him the truth, they're on the game, they sell sex for money"! The boy said "Is that true mum?, she says" I'm afraid so ". The boy says," if one of these ladies has a baby, what happens to it?, Mum says "It becomes a taxi driver……
Rebekah Vardy voting for Coleen Rooney to do all the Bushtucker Trials on I’m a Celebrity "She'll be eating Kangaroo please log in to view this image dick if it’s the last thing I do!" said Rebekah! please log in to view this image
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband please log in to view this image
I always thought my grandad was a war hero. But he was hit by a number 12 bus going to Uxbridge, and was killed in Acton....
An elderly husband and wife are sitting quietly in their local Church. The wife turns to her husband and says " I've just let off a silent fart, what should I do? The husband replies" I think you need to change your hearing aid batteries"
A note to all the premature Christmas decorators. Calm down, Mary hasn’t even told Joseph she’s bloody pregnant yet……
Not looking for sympathy. Most of you won’t know this but myself and my wife, over the last month, have had the hardest month we've ever had. It's been one of the most difficult times of our relationship. Some days have been harder than others and many tears have flowed and many nights we've sat and talked and some hard decisions have had to be made. Sadly after a long period of soul searching we have decided with great pain that the end has come. We can't continue any longer with the way things are, it’s not a decision we have taken lightly but it's been born out of necessity. Something had to change. So it’s with great sadness that I announce after so many months of struggling and fighting the inevitable that my wife and I have decided to put the central heating on.
